


Getting Your Idiot Friend a Boyfriend is Annoying

by irishbandlover23



Category: Gintama
Genre: Ginzura Week, M/M, alternative universe - anywhere but canon, ginzura is the main paring, yet they show up last
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 06:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8653975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishbandlover23/pseuds/irishbandlover23
Summary: Takasugi was pissed. Granted, Takasugi knew he was a self-centered, perpetually angry, vertically-challenged asshole.He was always annoyed by something, but this time—this time Gintoki had surpassed the amount of stupidity Takasugi was willing to take.
Or, alternatively, the one where Takasugi knows best, and Gintoki is a surprisingly sappy romantic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I love Ginzura week! I love seeing everyone's amazing products, and so I decided to contribute to my favorite pairing ever! The prompt was "In a Crisis." When have the Joui 4 ever not been in a crisis?
> 
> Anyways, hope you read and enjoy!

Takasugi was _pissed._ Granted, Takasugi knew he was a self-centered, perpetually angry, vertically-challenged asshole.

He was always annoyed by something, but this time—this time Gintoki had surpassed the amount of stupidity Takasugi was willing to take.

_Love,_ Takasugi scoffed as he downed his drink and motioned to the bartender for a refill.

It’d been a month— _month!_ _—_ since a hysterical Gintoki had pounded on Tatsuma’s door at midnight muttering, “Shit, shit, shit! I love him!”

Unlike Tatsuma, who was a thoughtful and understanding man at any hour of the day, Takasugi had merely scowled and snapped, “Congratulations, Mr. Obvious! We knew that already, so look at the time, get out and stop cockblocking me!”

Tatsuma had thrown him a chastising look, but Takasugi had merely shrugged and said, “What? You said you wanted me to—”

“Okay, okay! I'll do something about him so _shut up_!”

Well, suffice to say, Gintoki had been quickly evicted from their residence and Takasugi and Tatsuma had picked up their activities from where they’d left off.

Takasugi smiled fondly upon remembering the steamy activities that had transpired.

“That smirk… it's never any good,” murmured the man who’d taken the seat next to him. “What're you thinking of?”

Takasugi cracked a small smile. “Hey, Tatsuma.”

Tatsuma—Sakamoto—threw a tired smile at Takasugi. “Sorry I’m late; Mutsu’s a bit too good at her job.”

Takasugi nodded—he’d met Mutsu briefly and could immediately tell she was the one who kept Sakamoto’s business running.

Takasugi lazily motioned towards the two men a few seats away from them.

The two men were sitting side by side and the shorter one— _Katsura_ , his mind helpfully supplied—was laughing at Gintoki’s joke. Gintoki smiled as Katsura took a sip of his drink.

Suddenly, Katsura patted Gintoki’s arm and leaned in close to whisper something that caused Gintoki to blush.

How disgusting. Just because Gintoki was a friend didn’t mean Takasugi wanted to see Gintoki’s wistful face as he chased the man of his dreams.

Ugh, even his mind sounded like a trashy romance novel.

“So they're still not…?”

Takasugi crossed his arms. “It's been a month.”

“Well,” Sakamoto reasonably countered, “not everyone can be as straightforward as you.”

“He's too sappy. I don't like it.”

“He's… adorable.”

Takasugi stiffened. _Gintoki...adorable? No fucking way._ “Excuse me?”

Tatsuma held his hands up in surrender. “Ya gotta admit, the way he's going on about this, it isn't what we expected.”

Takasugi retorted, “So? He's always been an idiot.”

“ _So,_ the contradiction is cute.” Sakamoto sighed. “Puppy love!”

Takasugi groaned. He’d forgotten that despite Sakamoto’s normally charismatic demeanor, he was a romantic at heart. “Please don't start.”

“What?” Sakamoto chuckled before taking a sip of his drink. “I can't help it.”

Takasugi slammed his fist on the bartop. “See here, Tatsuma. All they need to do is get a room and fu—”

Tatsuma choked on his drink.

Before Tatsuma could utter a word, the two men in question approached them.

Gintoki happily proclaimed, “Oi, Tatsuma, I'm stopping by your place tonight, to, you know, talk. About, _that._ ”

Takasugi snapped. He did not just hear Gintoki say that.

“Oh no, we are _not_ doing this again.”

This was the third time this week!

Three days having to listen to Gintoki whine about his “unrequited” love.

Three days of Tatsuma’s incredibly patient, supportive, and caring advice.

Three days of _no sex_! Enough was enough.

“Shinsuke, wait—” Tatsuma said.

But Takasugi was tired of the neverending (and frankly, unnecessary) drama. “I'm tired of your shit, Gintoki.”

Gintoki blinked at Takasugi’s words. “Aren't you always?”

Sakamoto groaned.

Gintoki never quite knew when to shut up.

Takasugi started, “Oh for the love of—”

Turning to Gintoki’s companion, Sakamoto apologetically said, “Katsura, don't mind these idiots.”

Katsura merely smiled. “It’s nice seeing Gintoki lose his composure. He’s always so serious!”

Takasugi glared at Katsura, who continued to smile.

Admittedly, Takasugi had nothing against Katsura.

Katsura was a nice guy: good looks, smart, and a very strong personality. He admired Katsura’s ability to actually keep up with Tatsuma’s jokes.

Takasugi wholeheartedly approved of him—Gintoki could’ve chosen worse—but Katsura could be so dense sometimes.

_Really, this was for their own damn good_ , he thought. “Gintoki, it’s been a month. I’m not seeing any progress.”

Gintoki paled. Of course Gintoki knew what he was referring to.

“I’m getting there,” he mumbled without looking at Katsura.

“No you fucking aren’t; and you know it.”

Katsura curiously looked at Gintoki and Takasugi. “Progress?” He inquired. “A new project of yours, Gintoki?”

Gintoki flailed his arms in desperation. Chuckling nervously, he airily replied, “Don’t mind Takasugi, Zura. He’s just being a nuisance, is all.”

Takasugi saw red.

Sakamoto sighed in resignation. “Here we go.”

Takasugi clenched his fists.

Gintoki was a moron with no concept of self-preservation. A lovesick fool.

He hissed, “So now I’m a nuisance?”

“Takasugi, calm—”

But Takasugi was beyond sense right now. All that mattered was getting Gintoki to stop being an oblivious angst-ridden adult.

If Gintoki wasn’t going to do anything, then Takasugi would do it for him.

Looking at Katsura, Takasugi pointed to Gintoki and said, “Oi, _Zura_ , Gintoki lo—”

Takasugi was cut off mid-sentence by soft lips.

_For the love of_ _—_ _Tatsuma!_

Okay, this was fine. He could deal with this farce. If everyone besides Takasugi were out to be assholes tonight, then— _you asked for this, Tatsuma._

Takasugi eagerly wrapped his arms around Sakamoto’s hips and squeezed Sakamoto’s ass.

Sakamoto stiffened.

Logically, Takasugi knew this was a bad idea; Sakamoto didn’t care for public displays of affection, but Takasugi was too mad at everyone to even care.

Sakamoto began squirming and tried to pull away. _Oh no you don’t_ _—_

Takasugi lightly nipped at Tatsuma’s bottom lip, causing Tatsuma to gasp in surprise.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, Takasugi deftly slipped his tongue in Tatsuma’s mouth.

Tatsuma moaned.

Trying to break apart from the kiss, Takasugi pulled Sakamoto’s body even closer.

He was roughly pried off of Tatsuma by a scandalised Gintoki. “—You! Stop manhandling Tatsuma here! We’re in _public_!”

Takasugi sneered. “Well, at least _I’m_ getting some. Unlike you.”

Sakamoto, breathing heavily, shot him a warning look and interjected, “Okay! I get it, I get it!”

Sakamoto smirked. _Good boy._

Tatsuma looked at Gintoki and Katsura, who was quietly watching the proceedings with a wan smile, as if these things happened every day.

“Gintoki, Katsura: Shinsuke and I are going to take our leave, and _no one_ is coming over to my place tonight.” Sakamoto pointedly looked at Gintoki.

Takasugi cleared his throat.

Sakamoto took a deep breath, and said, “Katsura, Gintoki has something to tell you.”

Gintoki squawked.

Takasugi smiled, a truly sadistic smile that made Gintoki shiver.

Sakamoto apologetically smiled at Gintoki. “Sorry Gintoki; it has to be done.”

_Yeah, for my sake and Tatsuma’s._

Takasugi quickly slammed a couple of bills on the counter. “Well,” he grasped Tatsuma’s hand, “See you later—much later, eh, Gintoki?”

And with a nod at Katsura, Sakamoto and Takasugi quickly took their leave.

* * *

 

Staring at Takasugi’s and Tatsuma’s rapidly retreating backs, Gintoki cursed his friends’ meddling.

“So,” Katsura asked, “what was that all about?”

“Nothing!” Gintoki nervously chuckled. “Don’t mind them; they’re just being weird as usual.”

“But, despite their… quite public display, I think they said you have something to tell me…?”

Gintoki froze and stared at Katsura’s puzzled face.

Gintoki mumbled, “Yeah, uh, I don’t know?”

Katsura sighed, as if he knew Gintoki was hiding something incredibly important secret. “You know I’ll listen to whatever it is you have to tell me, right?”

Yes, yes, _of course_ Gintoki knew.

Katsura was the most honest, kind, and understanding person he’d ever met.

He would never judge him.  

Gintoki sighed. “I know you would.”

“I don’t want to pry, Gintoki…”

Gintoki grimaced. “I don’t—I just—Not yet.”

Katsura frowned. Quietly, he said, “Gintoki?”

Gintoki closed his eyes.

_Ah, to hell with it._

_Let me just crash and burn already!_

“I—Say you met someone amazing.”

Katsura nodded. “Okay.”

Gintoki looked at Katsura. “And they were as beautiful and as refreshing as a sweet, sunny, spring morning.”

Katsura’s eyes filled with comprehension. “Ah.”

Gintoki continued. “And you want to tell them; you really, really, do!”

Gintoki’s face crumbled. “But you can’t take that first step; you know they wouldn’t hate you, but you still can’t tell them.”

Katsura’s mouth parted in surprise. “Gintoki—”

“And you don’t want to lose them—and you know you won’t—so you stay silent, in the hopes that you can keep them close.”

Silence.

Gintoki took a long sip of his drink, hoping that he could quickly end this conversation.

Katsura kept staring at Gintoki, as if unsure of what to say.

_He knows; it’s not like I meet new people all the time._

_He must know I’m talking about him._

Finally, Katsura gently patted Gintoki’s shoulder. “Say, Gintoki.”

Gintoki took a smaller sip of his drink. “What?”

“Say you met someone amazing.”

Gintoki’s mind froze. _W-What?_

He continued. “And they were warm and comforting and kind.”

Katsura sighed.

“And they understood how lonely this city could be.”

Katsura smiled, that soft smile that Gintoki loved so much.

“And so they took it upon themselves to help a stranger. And so they became friends.”

Gintoki swallowed. He dared not hope, but his traitorous heart’s pace quickened.

“But one of them _knew_ this was different right from the start; they wanted more, and more, and more.”

Katsura reached over and grasped Gintoki’s trembling, but warm, hand.

“He waited, and waited, and waited. But nothing happened. All he wanted—all he needed, was a sign.”

Gintoki licked his lips. “A sign?”

Katsura nodded. “He just needed to know that he wasn’t alone; that this wasn’t one-sided. That the other person felt the same.”

Gintoki whispered. “So?”

“So, Gintoki,” whispered Katsura as he looked up at Gintoki, “I like you too.”

Gintoki felt his heart soar.

_Yes, yes, YES!_

He hadn’t been rejected; Zura felt the same!

Tatsuma had been right— _wait_.

Tatsuma had been right.

_Takasugi_ had been right.

Gintoki groaned in misery. “I’ve been an idiot, haven’t I?”

Zura wryly said, “Well…”

Gintoki grimaced. That Takasugi had been right was an incredibly bitter pill to swallow.

But Gintoki was nothing if not brave.

He’d do this right.

Slowly bringing their clasped hands up to his mouth, Gintoki kissed the top of Zura’s hand and then said, “Go out with me?”

Katsura blushed, and replied, “Do you even have to ask?”

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time since I wrote a Gintama fanfic; please be kind and leave a review!


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